About Me: Mema

Of all the personal influences that led me toward the mystical side of life, the most monumental by far was my Grandmother. Pauline was the most animated character of all her siblings, and the most beautiful. At eighty years old she's still striking and as sharpminded as ever. But beauty is a double edged sword and in her vanity she would never dare allow herself to be called Grandma, so I was told to address her as Mema. She also couldn't quite be bothered with the task of raising her own children, so for the most part, she didn't. She did, however, lower herself to the chore of finding rich men to marry...repeatedly, and touring the more enchanting parts of the world such as the "holy" land, Egypt, Greece and the like. And she indulged herself in every avenue of mysticism available. She was particularly attracted to the art of contacting the dead through seance and Ouija, as well as "soul travel". Not to mention she was a prolific card reader herself, whether a reading was welcome or not.

It's a bit ironic that Mema would have been such a key influence on my occult interest because it's only by indirect association that she exposed me to her mystical practices. She never directly taught me a single technique or exercise. She just never hid them from me. My grandmother enjoyed being immersed in an air of awe and mystery, so everything she did was wide out in the open. If she was ever in town, she would surely come by our house and sit down in the dining room with all her sisters around her and summon up some long dead relative or spirit guide. When I would wander into the room, I was never scolded when the spirits would go silent. I was simply told to say hello to our discarnate guests so they would continue on with their conversation. Every time I walked in, the spirits stopped speaking until I would say hello, then they'd immediately carry on. It was a little spooky to me as a child, but to my grandmother and her sister's it was so casual and common place that I couldn't help but think it to be a normal activity.

Then late at night after everyone had gone, Mema would come to the den where I usually sat entertaining myself. She'd assume a cross legged position on the couch and calmly tell me not to worry if she got really quiet and didn't move for awhile, she was just going to check up on a friend down in Florida. Never mind we were in N. Carolina. Or she might consult with a teacher. Again her attitude was so casual I was left to assume this must be business as usual.

Though she was really never much of a mother, I've got to respect the fearlessness with which she faced the unknown and the unseen in life and her uncompromising determination to live her own life as she saw fit. Never the less, she truly was a great influence on my life and allowed me to accept as reality some things that most people can't even bring themselves to consider as possibilities.

It's only fair to mention that in her later years, Mema had settled down enough to have time to discuss some of her practices with me and where she acquired them. She's always been more of a doer than a theorist, so she still doesn't spend too much effort on explanations. And she did offer me some initial instruction on chi gong, though I haven't yet established for myself a solid daily practice. I intend to incorporate chi cultivation as a part of this course of occult training as I believe it to be a vital element in magical practice. But more on that later.

About Me: Uncle Larry

My Great Grandmother had ten children of her own and raised my mother as well. A story in itself. Of the ten, there were two boys. Her youngest was Larry, and being the youngest he was a bit spoiled and consequently over confident. To compound the issue, he was huge for someone of his ethnic heritage and remarkably strong. Uncle Larry was young and wild when I first came along and he was a fanatic Kung Fu enthusiast. As a toddler, I would listen to him brag about his keen martial arts prowess, and on rare occasions he would actually perform some Kung Fu stunt. Usually at the dismay of another family member or unsuspecting bystander, as they were the unfortunate victim of a take down or joint lock. This undoubtedly fueled my initial interest in martial arts, especially Kung Fu.

Uncle Larry was, perhaps ironically, also a fanatic Christian. I intend no offense to anyone who considers themselves Christian in any capacity, but I cannot overemphasize the word "fanatic" in this statement. He would often impress on me the overwhelming authority of God. Usually in a scolding tone. From a childs perspective, I'd sincerely try to understand this riddle of Gods power, judgement, and jealousy. I remember a turning point in my innocent mind when I asked Uncle Larry the inevitable question "if God made me, you, and the whole world, ...Then who made God?" I'd never seen such fury in a grown mans face directed at a child, and for asking an innocent question at that. That very moment awoke in me the awareness of something greater than the knowledge and wisdom of our elders and preachers. That burning spiritual/religious question spurred me for all of my childhood and most of my adult life to find an answer, some meaning, a truth.

I spent hours on end, as early as 3 or 4 years old, pouring over my Great Grandfathers giant, illustrated Catholic Bible. Ever fascinated with the travels of this man named Jesus and marvelling at the miracles he performed. This was, for me, the beginning of knowing that we had a higher ability than most people believe. This was the seed that grew into a consuming need to know and master the reality of magic. Thanks Uncle Larry, even if you knew not what you had done.

Uncle Asa, Part 2

Yes, Uncle Asa was blind. Though he wasn't born that way. He went blind later in life after he had already become proficient at reading cards. But the fact that he continued to read haunted me all my life and still does. He was certainly a great inspiration to learn how to read cards. When I finally started reading on my own, I uncovered a very basic practice that I believe led to his ability. In many occult systems, a preliminary exercise is suggested that is intended to develop ones clairvoyant faculties. Simply take a deck of cards, turn them face down and one at a time, take note of the images and impressions you perceive crossing your minds eye. You may never get the specific impression of "Queen of Hearts" for example, but you will notice certain images and thoughts. They come as if superimposed among your own regular "mind chatter". The idea is if you familiarize yourself with these impressions well enough, you will notice a definite consistency of "themes" with each specific card. Of course some cards have similar meanings depending their context within a reading. But I believe this method of training our clairvoyant sensitivity is how Uncle Asa was able to read cards even though he could no longer see them with his eyes. He simply saw them with his minds eye.

A bit about me: Great Grandmother and Uncle Asa

In the following article I will roughly describe the events and influences that inspired my interest in the Occult Sciences and led me to publish this project.

I was to a family that has been influenced heavily by eastern mysticism. My great grandmother being half Chinese and half Cherokee, although very Christian, carried with her a belief in the power of oration. Certain family members possessed certain orations each of which had specific effects. For example, one could stop bleeding while another could "take the fire from a burn". Whoever had an oration would pass it down to a favored member of the family, usually a child or grandchild. Obviously, as a youngster, this fascinated me. Especially after seeing it used on rare occasions.

My great grandmother also believed in the ability to receive and express prophecy. She, in fact, foretold many things that would come to pass for immediate family while on her death bed. She and my great grandfather, a handsome Paris-born Austrian, both told us what day they would "go home to be with the Lord". Although I was "passed" no orations, I was often told what a unusually sensitive psychic I was. I never felt it was true, but as the years passed and especially through hardship, I noticed a definite and increasing presence of clairsentience and an occasional ability to foresee the inevitable before it strikes. I take this to be my spiritual inheritance.
I spent many of my most formative years in the presence my great grandmother and she influenced me deeply. Even in death, I felt her close to me at all times. Though I never doubted she is at peace just as she said she'd be with her dying breath.

My great grandmother had a brother, Asa, who would visit her and her eleven children(ten plus my mother). Though I never met him, his influence on me has been tremendous. In troubled times, he would often gently guide my great aunts and uncles with the metaphorical images from chi gong such as "stand like a tree". Even my grandmother, as well travelled and well read as she was in the mystical arts, never knew what he meant until she reached her seventies and discovered chi gong for herself. The one thing about Uncle Asa that left the deepest mark on me was his frequent habit of "reading cards". A habit passed on to my grandmother, from her to my mother, and eventually to me at age 14. Now I know that reading cards doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Anyone can do it with a deck of tarot cards and a good book, right? Well friends, Uncle Asa was blind.

Mission Statement

After much consideration of which occult training system I would commit myself to, I chose the system outlined by Franz Bardon. It seems to be relatively thorough and is explained in a "down to earth" fashion. Every system I've read through over the years suggests keeping a "magical journal", so I felt that if I kept this journal and posted it online as I went others would have the opportunity to follow along and offer feedback. If someone has less experience than myself then perhaps they can learn something from my efforts or atleast gain some encouragement to explore their own passion. If someone has more experience than me then maybe they'll offer me some guide posts along the way. In any case, I feel something good can come to us all if I just humbly and honestly share my efforts with good faith that those who have similar interests may find me here online and join me for the ride.

I'll begin the suggested regimen of exercises and studies on January 1, 2010. So with this in mind... Welcome all who enter this humble hermit's temple.

Sincerely,

A Fool And His Dog